DB, Sutro Tower Executive, dressed for the business meeting in which he would convince CH and MH to sing and dance for "Madame Butterfly," the most important Sutro Tower Video video that was never made. Their number was "For Me and My Gal." He was already familiar with Gene Kelly by this time, having been "Singing in the Rain."
CH and MH, both dubious about the odd invader in their household. They did sign the STV contract, it is on file even to this date with the FBI.
"Hot Diggity," Dog Ziggity, Boom — Die Yuppie Scum! BK additionally wore a tight fitting stuffed animal, mostly not clearly visible in this studio video still.
DC, who formerly lived downstairs from the offices of Sutro Tower Video, also seemed unconvinced that caramels could make him a star. DB had invaded his television set at this point. Soon it became difficult to manage proper camera maneuvering during DC's fine Aretha Franklin number ("Rock Steady") to avoid getting an X rating from the censorship board.
The All-American Dream Girl, who unfortunately came to the offices of Sutro Tower Video to take a shower on a fateful day when her landlady had turned the water off in her apartment. What did she think the studio was, another Bates Motel or something?
BD, former Siamese twin of DB, apparently surprised at his reception at the time of his arrival at the entrance to Sutro Tower Video studios.
"Carmel Knowledge," is a 1989 Sutro Tower Video homage to obsession and all those obsessed who envelope it. "Carmel Knowledge" is considered by the major Sutro Tower Video executives, such as DB and BD, to be the STV masterpiece video of the studio's analog era.
Dedicated to Lucille Ball and Abbie Hoffman, both of whom died during the production of the video (though not involved with its production nor otherwise mentioned in it), "Carmel Knowledge" was the saga of previously conjoined-at-the-head twins DB and BD (note: "Siamese twins," as they was known in 1989), who were separated not long after birth, and who both were now the co-owners of Sutro Tower Video, a studio which was striving to become a major player in some marketplace or another that is never really quite clear.
An upcoming production video was in the works of "Madame Butterfly," but this was thwarted when potential star material Harrison Ford ran off with Meryl Streep, leaving Sutro Tower Video in the lurch. DB, more or less the brains of the company (as he got more of the brains at the time of the twins' separation), lived in San Francisco, and he was particularly furious about the Ford fiasco.
BD, who was living in San Diego, had other more pressing issues than an unmade video, as an invasion of Southern California by Soviet troops under the leadership of then Soviet premier Mikhail Gorbachev had begun near his home, and things were really touch and go for awhile due to that unpleasantness.
Quite unconcerned about his ex-connected-twin's dilemma, DB did some research in a witchcraft cookbook and found a recipe for magical caramels, guaranteed to make people sing and dance after eating them. At this point, the video viewing public is treated to "Cuisinart Kitchen," a mini-episode-within-a-video cooking show, with instructions for making the caramels. Later trying them while in a Brenda Lee/Weekly World News fit of pique, he found they worked splendidly on him. DB decided next to go out into the world to get amateurs to act in this STV opus, and, by feeding them the caramels, he would render them star material. The production of "Madame Butterfly" would therefore go on even without Harrison Ford. Tara was saved.
Inducted into the plot from this unlikely beginning were BK, CH and MH, and DC. All were approached and force?-fed the drugged candy, and, when ripened by its effect, all succumbed to the caramels' musical magic.
Soon the day of practice arrived, when all were supposed to come to the offices of Sutro Tower Video, to begin the arduous process needed to create the studio's fine art.
Long before that day, the effect of the candy had worn off all the victims actors (or else they had second thoughts), and no one came to work on the musical production at the studio.
When it became evident these new actors weren't going to show up, DB overrate the caramels himself, and soon he got sick, left the studio, and found Haight Street in San Francisco had turned blurry and surreal from the effect of the candy-drug. Unfortunately, while he was out, his home shower was invaded by an upstart, unsuspecting ersatz Barbie doll, and, to make matters even worse, after disposing of the showering interloper (before San Francisco had three bin recycling required by law), having escaped San Diego and driven the long route north, brother BD arrived at the studio at really the worst moment. Much to his own unfortunate future, he still dud not care much about "Madame Butterfly," DB's cause obsessive, and he likely did not realize his brother, DB, was not acting with the clearest of heads at this point due to his much altered-state and too much stress (although it did seem the twins shared a special form of communication…).
Though Tara was NOT saved in the final scene, there was still The Surprise Ending, and a final avowal never to eat caramels again on the part of leading man, DB.
Sutroid Towerist Dennis
A Dennis Brumm film, starring, directed and produced by him
(introducing) Rose Andres as "The Woman on Hyde"
(No Thanks to Harrison Ford and Meryl Streep)
Jeanette MacDonald as Mary Blake
Prince Precious and Kitty Carlisle, the cats, playing themselves
Fido the humu-humu-nuku-nuku-apua'a
Clark Gable as Blackie Norton
Jack Holt as Jack Burly
William Ricciardi as Señor Baldini
Carolyn Jones as Morticia Addams
John Astin as Gomez Addams
Johnny Carson as himself
Toot Sibelian's Skiing Penguins
Tracey Ullman as Elvis and as Judy the "pretty mama"
Herbert Anderson as Henry Mitchell
Gloria Henry as Alice Mitchell
Joseph Kearns as Mr. (John) Wilson
Bert Lahr as the Cowardly Lion
(the voice of) Olivia de Havilland as Melanie Hamilton
Butterfly McQueen as Prissy
Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara
Evelyn Keyes as Suellen O'Hara
Ann Rutherford as Careen O'Hara
The All-American Dream Girl as Janet Leigh
Father Junipero Serra as himself
Created on location in San Francisco, California, USA
Dedicated to Lucille Ball and Abbie Hoffman; both dead, April 1989
Sutro Tower, San Francisco's Ugliest Landmark, courtesy of Monolythian TeeVee, L.L.C.
Hair by Sam the Barber
Hairpiece courtesy of Wiggytown
Ms. Hennessy's gowns courtesy of Aréna Fabriques of Hellywood
All music in the video was composed, arranged, and performed by The Sutro Tower Philharmonic Orchestra, LLC, except for:
"Bubbles in the Wine" and "The Sound of Music," both performed by Lawrence Welk & His Orchestra
"San Francisco" and "Ah, Sweet Mystery of Life," both performed by Jeanette MacDonald
Sonata Pathètique, composed by Ludwig van Beethoven, performed by Alfred Brendel
"Ponta de Lanca Africano," performed by Jorge Ben [uncredited in original and 2003 versions]
"Helter Skelter" and "Magical Mystery Tour," both performed by the Beatles
"Basse Dance la Brosse"
"Soviet Hymn," performed by the Soviet Army Chorus
"Sweet Nothings," performed by Brenda Lee
"Grand Sonata in A," composed by Niccoló Paganini
"Singin' in the Rain," performed by Gene Kelly
"This is my Lucky Day" (unknown performers)
"I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke," performed by The New Seekers
"Things Go Better With Coke," performed by The Limeliters
"Symphony #8 in D Minor," composed by Dmitri Shostakovich, performed by Concertgebouw Amsterdam, conducted by Bernard Haitink
"For Me and My Gal," performed by Gene Kelly & Judy Garland
"Devil or Angel," performed by Bobby Vee
"(See the U.S.A.) In Your Chevrolet," performed by Dinah Shore
"Manuelo," performed by Carmen Miranda
"Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity, BOOM!)," performed by Perry Como
Star Trek Original Television Soundtrack: music from "The Cage" and "Where No Man Has Gone Before"
"Roses From the South" ("Rosen aus dem Süden"), composed by Johann Strauß, performed by The Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Herbert von Karajan
"The William Tell Overture," composed by Gioachino Rossini, performed by The National Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Riccardo Chailly
The Gillette Fight Song
The Rocky and Bullwinkle Theme Song
Theme from "The Outer Limits"
"Un Bel Di" (from "Madama Butterfly"), composed by Giacomo Puccini, sung by Mirella Freni, performed by Konzertvereinigung Weiner Staatsopernchor, The Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra, with Herbert von Karajan, conductor
"Whispering; Cherchez la Femme; Se Si Bon," performed by Dr. Buzzard's original Savannah Band
"Grand Pianola," composed by John Adams; performed by Solisti New York, conductor Ransom Wilson, Alan Feinberg & Ursula Oppens, pianos
"Rock Steady," performed by Aretha Franklin
"The Tennessee Waltz," performed by Patti Page
"San Francisco (Wear Some Flowers in Your Hair)," performed by Scott McKenzie
"Also sprach Zarathustra," composed by Richard Strauß; performed by The Boston Symphony Orchestra, Seiji Ozawa, conductor
"Raga: Sanjh Kalyan, Alap, and Jod," performed by Pandit Ravi Shankar
Selections from "Requiem," composed by Verdi
Music from "Gone With the Wind," the original MGM Motion Picture soundtrack
The N-B-C 1950s/60s 3-note network tune
The movie "King Kong" (1933) audio growls
Comet© brand cleanser
American Standard Toilets
AT&T Slimline© Telephones
The San Francisco Chronicle®
World War II®
Tootsie Roll® Industries
Hetch Hetchy Company© water
Westclox® alarm clocks
General Motors® pickup truck division
Buster Brown® shoes
Jonny Cat® Cat Litter
Sutro Tower Video Archives
The movie "San Francisco"
"The Johnny Carson Show" (television)
MTV stuff (television)
The sitcom: "Dennis the Menace" (television)
The STV Video: "Jupiter Tulips"
The movie, "Inch by Inch" (X-rated, please avoid thank you)
The Cable Value Network (television)
The movie "The Wizard of Oz"
The sitcom: "The Addams Family" (television)
The PBS television series "The Nature of Things" (dead moose footage)
Jim Nabors' TeeVee special in Las Vegas
The (first) movie "Star Trek: The Motion Picture"
The documentary movie "The Times of Harvey Milk"
The movie "Gone with the Wind"
The movie "Psycho"
The cartoon series "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
SF Viacom cable channels: 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11, 19, 32, and 36
"The war took on a new dimension at 1:00 p.m. when President Bush ordered the nuclear bombing of Moscow. By 1:20, the Kremlin had bombed Washington, D.C., as well. Early reports indicate that most of the unnecessary politicians in both capitols were evaporated."
—DB, as news/weather/sports announcer
"Today we are going to be concocting something particularly special, musical car[a]mels, guaranteed to make even the least musically-inclined of you out there croon like an opera diva."
" Give me a call when you get into town and we'll find you someplace to stay. I'm really busy right now."
—DB to BD who was stuck in the war in San Diego, trying to flee to San Francisco
"Do you know what I got here? This is last November's city ballot pamphlet information…! Look how big it is!…. Now somebody needs to do something about this!…"
—DB, newscaster, on the Sutro Tower Video News at 1800 broadcast
"I interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement. These are trying times when things like 'hands' and 'ladies' don't matter so much anymore. Are you tired of the ennui forced upon you by the mearninglessness of life?"
—DB upon invading the TeeVee set of DC
"This must be some sort of bad flashback from my 60s lifestyle"
Videos with an asterisk (*) are available for viewing courtesy of the Internet Archive.
►Carmel Knowledge (1989)
The Detaxilification of Quemalt Aite (1992)
(sketched out: never produced)
The Last Time Dennis Saw Iowa (2005)
(see also: "Red Meat and Red Jell-O")
Sturm in der Deutschstunde (1992)
A Tour of San Francisco (1987)
(the very first "movie")